The last piece to this puzzle is: We're not taught to express ourselves in a healthy sexual way.
Think about it! If everyone on the planet had a healthy way to express their sexual urges & desires, why would we even bother with pornography? What would it be like for you if you could just express your sexuality in a healthy, mutually beneficial and gratifying way? If you had all the love, intimacy, and personal self-expression you could master at your fingertips, would you REALLY still want to look at Pornography? I'm willing to bet "No". Ebony Lesbian Porn
You don't see a Health Food Fanatic (who knows what the hell they're doing) reach for the Cheetos every day.
They know how good it feels to eat food that nourishes their body.
And so with the majority of the planet turned on at the very sight of Pornographic content, how many of us actually talk about it? Have you gone around and told anyone about your Porn Addiction lately? Maybe you have.
But it took me about 7 years to finally start admitting I had a problem to my friends.
So you may say that this normal behavior (and you're probably right) but let's just ask ourselves anyway…WHY IS THAT?There are 3 primary reasons why we don't want to talk about our porn addiction:We don't want to acknowledge our NEEDOur addiction to pornography often begins with some sort of need that has gone unsatisfied for a very long time.
We feel as though we can't ever actually fulfil that need, and so we look outside of ourselves for it, in this case, PORN! Think about it, if you actually were to admit your porn addiction to someone, you would essentially be saying one of the following:I really want to be loved deeply…I really want to feel powerful and in control of myself…I really want to experience beauty……but I look at porn instead because I don't think I actually deserve any of that stuff (or know how to get it)!Think about it…you would have to get pretty vulnerable to say that right?We will be told to "just stop doing it"Wow, I still get annoyed by this statement.
Has anyone ever said this to you? Have you ever wanted to respond with "Duhh!" – me too!Some people don't recognize just how powerful an addiction is.
And so we are afraid that they will say this to us.
Oh, and what's the very next thing we do after that? That's right…We make ourselves wrong for not being strong enough to "just stop".
It's so easy to take on such a dumb statement like this from an uneducated person when we are looking for reasons to beat ourselves up for it.
By listening to this from others, we are essentially shaming ourselves.
And we don't realize just how big pornography addiction actually is.
Because we've started to isolate ourselves from others (if not on a physical level, then an emotional level).
We don't want to be found out.
We want people to continue thinking that we are "normal".
Believe me, it is no prize to be "well-adjusted" in a sick society.
We don't recognize the opportunity available to usYou know…the people I have met who suffer most from this addiction are also the most deeply feeling people I have met.
Those very attributes which have them feel so deeply for others and themselves are working against them, yes, but that does not mean we should try to get them to "stop" being that way.
That approach never works…As I began to fully face and feel the impact of my addiction on me using the practices in my ebook, I began to lift my head out of my ass and see how great it was to have such deep emotions – I could relate so well with other people.
Where this gift really starts to cause problems is when people use their relational skills to hide from others.
Boy, I'm so good at that! Everyone else says "Wow, what a great guy!" whilst I get to hide and hold back every feeling and desire that was REALLY going on for me.
So if there is nothing actually WRONG with you for being so addicted to pornography, what would you do?So let's actually talk about porn addiction here.
Why? Because there's no reason for us not to.
You are not a sick human being.
You are a human being who forgot what it was like to actually be fulfilled with what you REALLY need.
Let me go first…As my addiction came to an end, I began to see what I was truly wanting.
I realized I was addicted to beauty.
I wanted to witness and create more beautiful things in the world.
And so, I looked for that very thing OUT THERE in Pornography.
I so wanted to feel connected with that beautiful impulse to create and yet I didn't have any idea what that would be like.
Nobody ever helped me to see it.
And so, I went to pornography.
I began looking at weird forms of pornography for the creative aspect of what I wanted and I really wanted to see beautiful women because I so wanted to be moved.
It was not until I learned what "being moved" would actually look like for me in a healthy way that I actually stopped needing to look at it.
So, when you look at Porn online, what are you REALLY wanting? What does porn do to you? Let me know in the comments section and I'll be sure to reply to you.
PS.
If you're ready to do a bit MORE than just talk about your porn addiction, check out my 20 FREE Videos & get a FREE eBook for what you need to start dealing with your addiction