Accept it for being there and ask it "What do you have to teach me?"Stay with it without reacting by feeling its texture, shape, hardness, location, color, movement. Ebony Teen Porn
sWhen I was dealing with my porn addiction, I tried so many different things.
Such as:Removing my PC from my roomMasturbating before I got to the computer (that one rarely worked well)Calling a friend or going outsideDoing some new weird personal development tip I got from a new bookGoogling "porn addiction" to get help, and then casually deleting the "addiction" partMan! It was a frustrating clusterfuck of distractions and they got me NOWHERE! It was like I was throwing a frisbee for a dog whilst holding a steak.
That dog is much more interested in the steak! It's the same with Porn Addiction, unless you actually realize that you're holding a steak (much juicier and enticing) you will not get very far.
You can throw as many distractions in your way as possible but you won't actually forget that you have something much more addictive in your way – that hasn't worked so far, right?So what do you do? If you can't distract yourself, what else is there? Let me offer you something…deal with it head on!OK wiseguy, and how do you do that (you ask)? I'm going to give you three VERY QUICK things you can do RIGHT NOW to start working with your Porn Addiction.
Ready?1.
Open an Account with Covenant Eyes for AccountabilityIf you have a friend you can trust, I would advise using them.
But how about this, if you don't have anyone holding you to account, then contact me and I'll be your Accountability Buddy for $10 a month.
Do you want me kicking your ass for looking at porn online? I will so do that!Covenant EyesIntegrity software is NOT a long term solution.
It simply puts more pressure on you to stop.
This is important because when you do that, you can start to work on the actual content of your feelings around Pornography without the worry of having a relapse.
2.
Feel the FeelingsWhen we distract ourselves, we try to employ every technique possible to not feel something.
What if we were to deliberately reverse that path.
What if we were to look down and notice the juicy steak in our hands and get to know it better? Imagine the feeling as a discrete object and notice its shape, texture, color, direction, size, intensity.
What would happen if you were to get so familiar and comfortable with that feeling that it no longer bothered you? Better the devil you know than one you don't right? OK, I know that idiom normally means "stick with the idiot you know rather than risk it with another", but in this instance I mean: Once you know the "devil" that's going on inside you, you no longer have to fight it.
It becomes familiar.
You don't have to fight the feelings.
Just observe them disinterested.
What would happen if you were to look at them with a disinterested mind while your body is still feeling that fire? Your brain would start to iron out a new pattern saying "Don't give them more worth than they deserve".
This is how I got over my porn addiction, I learned EVERYTHING about EVERY feeling I had around my addiction.
Try it.
3.
Write it downI don't believe the content of a person's porn use actually means anything.
I think what really matters is that you start to OBJECTIFY your thoughts so that you can start to get a better sense that you are NOT your thoughts.
And the best way to do this is to use an old-fashioned pen & paper.
Write down whatever comes up for you about your porn addiction.
If you get stuck, ask yourself one of these five questions:What does it feel like to be addicted to porn?What are you looking at more than other types of porn?What do you feel when you look at this porn? (actual sensations like in the above exercise, and if it has a name)What do you REALLY want when you look at porn? What is the underlying need not expressed?Where is your addiction costing you MOST in your life?Get EVERYTHING out on paper! Don't stick to these questions if something else comes up.
When you notice an intense sensation, write out what it really wants to say as though it were its own person.
How long can you stay with that feeling even as it torments you? This is a practice.
Don't worry about screwing up.
Don't forget, you're the facilitator, it just writes what it needs to say.
In other words, YOU ARE NOT IT!!!Let me know how this goes for you and post it below…PS.
If you're really ready to start dealing with this addiction and using much more detailed practices that will help you cut your tie to your addiction ONCE AND FOR ALL…check out my 20 FREE Videos and get a free ebook on how to deal with a relapse! They're both a great place to start when you first decide you first come to deal with your Porn Addiction…Posted: June 7th, 2010 | Author:Marc | Filed under:Porn Addiction | Tags:porn addiction | View CommentsLet me take a stab at something…and stop me if you disagree…I'm willing to bet that EVERY MAN out there have SOME charge with pornography.
I'm also willing to bet that there plenty of women who feel the same.
In the UK (where I live), there are numerous adult-oriented magazines displayed in full view on magazine shelves in pretty much every paper shop.
People say that "Sex Sells" and so where they can, they use a half-naked woman to get their message across.
Let's face it – sex is EVERYWHERE!And so, it's no wonder that some of us turn to pornography because, well, when we're exposed to those kinds of messages every day we're bound to get caught up in it right? …WRONG! There's one more element at play, and it's what actually stops you from talking about your Addiction to Pornography in the first place.